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Question of the Week


[Notes: Most people find that time to orgasm lengthens with age. For many, this is a good thing, as long as it enables them to last longer; thus, they can better please a sexual partner or themselves. Some 20% of the males who responded described gaining greater control over their orgasms so they can climax whenever they want. A few respondents mentioned the frustration of needing a long time to climax, or not being able to do so at all. This unhappy state can be brought on by taking antidepressant and other drugs, or by surgery, usually romoval of the prostate in older men. Staying in good physical condition helps maintain one's sexual condition — but best of all is the ability to enjoy the pleasures of the moment, whether or not they lead to orgasm.]

This Week's Best Response:
As a teen, I learned to masturbate without using lubrication. Because of this, I had to wait at least two days before my penis would sensitive enough for me to climax. If not enough time had passed, I would become frustrated, or my penis would become too raw for me to continue stroking to orgasm. My orgasms still can be much more intense when I stroke "dry," but I use lubrication liberally now, for both stroking and having sex with my wife. The frequency of my orgasms is pretty much the same today as when I was a teen. I have more pleasure, and sex is more satisfying when I wait two to three days between orgasms. One thing more — a few of my out-of-shape friends have confided that they can't get as hard as they used to. I still have hard erections and climax as strongly as when I was 20. I run to stay in shape, I don't smoke, and I drink only occasionally. Guys, if you want to keep your penis in top condition as you get older, you might want to give up smoking and alcohol abuse, and get some exercise. There is no reason you can't have a penis like mine as you enter mid-life. Love your body; love your penis!
- age 42, Washington

If I am in the right mood, it is easy for me to achieve orgasm, especially if I go at it full-steam. However, when I was younger, I had no problem having an orgasm even if I wasn't interested in masturbating. I would just do it, since I had gotten into a rhythm so I could ejaculate almost every day. Now if I don't feel like masturbating, I struggle even to get an erection, let alone have an orgasm when I touch my penis.
- age 24, Australia

Orgasm has always been easy for me — unless I try for "seconds." Then I have to try harder and focus a lot more.
- age 16, Oklahoma

I usually achieve orgasm in from five minutes to two hours, depending upon my mood, my effort to finish or postpone, and the time available. When I was younger, orgasm seemed to happen all by itself in from two to five minutes during a first session. Repeated second, third, and fourth sessions would each take longer — up to an hour or more. Each repeated session was more thrilling. I do climax almost daily by hand or with an aid. Yes, after age 65, sensitivity lessened and orgasm became harder to reach, with slightly less sensation.
- age 75, Texas

If I want to, I can get to orgasm within one minute (including the time I need to get an erection). This is true only when I haven't already masturbated the same day. Sometimes I try to get as many orgasms as possible in a row. After having about three orgasms, it becomes very difficult for me to get another one. This used to be much easier when I was about 15. Also, I have observed that the more stress I feel, the harder it is for me to get an erection and eventually reach orgasm. So, during school holidays I quite often feel much "younger" than when I have to work a lot.
- age 18, Germany

It depends on my state of mind at the time. If I'm in a good mood and have had some positive stimulation, it's easy for me to get there. In other cases, even with help, it takes much longer and I have less luck. It's been rare that I've been unable to reach orgasm during a masturbation session, but it does happen — sometimes when I'm sick or too tired. (I've even fallen asleep during the act a couple of times.)
- age 30, Canada

I can get to orgasm as quickly or as slowly as I want. Once when I was in school, I had an incredible urge to masturbate, so I went into the bathroom and climaxed in about 20 seconds. On the other hand, one night my parents weren't home and I masturbated for 3 hours straight without getting there.
- age 16, Missouri

I use my vibrator every time I masturbate, and it's easy for me to have many orgasms this way. I can achieve orgasm in other ways, but it takes much longer and I rarely have the patience. Vibrators are addictive! My ability to reach orgasm is much greater the older I've become, because I know exactly what I need to do to have a very powerful, mind-blowing orgasm every time!
- age 28, Australia (female)

It's very easy for me to reach orgasm. One or two sexual photos, words, or dreams are all it takes.
- age 13, India

I can reach orgasm in as little as a minute, or I can take a couple of hours. It depends on the mood I'm in and what I'm trying to accomplish. Sometimes I need a quick fix; other times, like when I'm having sex, I like to really take a long time because the longer I last, the better the orgasm. The only thing that has changed since I was a teenager is I have more control — and that's something that my sexual partners and I both like.
- age 40, Ontario, Canada

When I first started masturbating, I could reach orgasm within a minute. Nowadays I tend to take more time — 15 minutes or more. Also, my second or third orgasm of the day takes longer to reach than the first.
- age 25, Netherlands

Honestly, it's rather easy for me to achieve orgasm most of the time. But on the rare occasion that I lose my arousal during masturbation, I often feel the urge to continue until I *do* achieve a climax, good or bad. Those are the only times it's hard for me to climax. I've also found that my masturbation technique changes with every session according to my level of arousal during each.
- age 14, South Carolina (female)

Sometimes it takes me 15 minutes if I am masturbating just for the orgasm, have things on my mind, etc. I might even go soft, but I keep on going, and ultimately, everything works. I have a couple of special memories I use only when I want to make it quickly. When I masturbate in "dangerous" places, like out in the garage, basement, or outdoors (privately — no exhibitionism here!), I usually get to orgasm more quickly due to the excitement of the event and location.
- age 44, New Hampshire

Most of the time, achieving orgasm is easy for me. The only time I have trouble is when I almost reach orgasm and then stop for a minute because I don't want it to end right away. Then it becomes harder to get it back up. I do think reaching orgasm has changed for me. When I first started last year, I had a hard time. But my masturbation methods have changed, also making it easier for me. I don't really care how long it takes, just as long as it comes!
- age 14, Massachusetts

I have never had problems achieving orgasm, but I'm certainly enjoying it more with maturity. As I've learned more about masturbation, I've also eliminated any problems achieving orgasm. The more relaxed I am, the easier it is to achieve orgasm — and paradoxically, prolong the period until I consciously decide to ejaculate.
- age 60, Michigan

Reaching orgasm is completely within my control. If I want, I can have an orgasm 5 minutes after I start to masturbate, or I can take it slow and not experience an orgasm for 5 hours. Sometimes I even start masturbating one day, then stop, and bring myself to orgasm on the following day. The only time I have been unable to achieve an orgasm was one time when I was quite sick. Mentally I was very aroused, but my penis did not agree with me. I tried and tried, but it just wouldn't happen. Other than that, if I want an orgasm, I get an orgasm!
- age 18, Oklahoma

It's usually easy for me; how long it takes depends on the situation. It can be anywhere from a minute or two up to 30 minutes. I have had trouble getting there from being very tired or from a lot of distractions, but not often. It's much easier now than it was when I was younger. When I first started, I thought I was the only one who was doing it, and that I was "sick." The guilt made it take forever. My teen years would have been much better if I'd known the truth then.
- age 31, Tennessee

Until I started using lubrication, I had no trouble reaching orgasm. Now unless I am using some sort of lubrication I have trouble reaching orgasm. Also, since I started stimulating my anus, it is harder for me to have an orgasm without doing that also.
- age 17, Georgia

As I have gotten older, achieving orgasm (always easy for me) has begun to take a little longer. However, the orgasms have gotten better. My masturbation sessions now are better than ever — I have much more volume and ejaculate farther than when I was a teenager.
- age 25, Colorado

I can reach orgasm easily by myself, but when I'm with someone else, it's not quite so easy. Most of the time, if it's someone I care about it's okay — but when I'm with someone I don't love and trust, I just can't relax enough. Usually at that point, I end up faking it. I've become a brilliant faker over the years — sometimes I almost fool myself.
- age 19, Tennessee (female)

When I was younger, I never had any trouble reaching orgasm. In the past 5 years or so, I've found it very difficult for someone else to get me off. I still find sex very enjoyable, especially receiving oral sex, but I usually have to masturbate myself to orgasm. On the plus side, I can have sex for hours, and when I finally do climax, I ejaculate an incredible amount.
- age 32, Arkansas

I have never had the slightest difficulty in achieving orgasm — and neither have I ever suffered from any sort of premature ejaculation. I first discovered masturbation at about age 11, before I could ejaculate. From then, I practiced frequently, particularly in bringing myself to the brink of climax, stopping and pausing, then resuming — usually several times. I credit this, and a good tight neo-natal circumcision, for my ability to have such good control. I've noticed that many uncut guys have problems, either with ejaculating prematurely or with pain during climax.
- age 22, Canada

I find it quite easy to reach orgasm today, but I found it even easier when I was younger. So I've had to modify things a bit. When younger I wouldn't use mental processes as much, but now that I do employ those techniques, the mental process combined with vigorous rubbing can get me to orgasm rapidly. The one time in my life when I had real trouble getting there was when I was taking antidepressant medication — sometimes after about an hour, I still couldn't climax and would give up. Thankfully, things are now back to normal in that department.
- age 31, Australia

It's easy for me to achieve orgasm. I hate to brag, but I have better control over my orgasmic response than anyone with whom I have ever discussed it. I learned the "stop-and-go" technique for self-control at age 14 and have been practicing for 11 years with hormonally inspired dedication. I can now control the length of my masturbation sessions from two minutes to two-and-a-half hours without effort. It is *such* a chore, but through practice, I hope to refine my control even more.
- age 25, Minnesota

In my teens, I took multiple orgasms for granted. Now, it's my challenge to have one "stop-and-go" session lasting as long as mentally possible. I appreciate the masturbation experience much more now. Although I don't squirt as far or ejaculate as much semen anymore, masturbation means so much more to me and feels so much more satisfying. I use a soft "jelly ring" to maintain my erection for as long as I want it. I get hours of pleasure, and what a way to relax!
- age 42, New York

It is rather easy, unless I use my left hand. I am predominantly right-handed, so when I use my left hand, it requires a lot more work — but I find it easier to perform the "stop and go" technique, which is probably my favorite. (In fact, I just recently masturbated for 7 hours, but I accidentally fell asleep before orgasm — completely naked! DOH!)
- age 14, Illinois

I have no difficulty at all achieving orgasm, either during love-making or masturbation. It wasn't always this way, however. My early years were marked by several failed attempts! A few high school and college lovers, both male and female, felt frustrated that they couldn't make me climax. I remember asking my gynecologist about this; she told me it was most likely caused by performance anxiety.
- age 41, California (female)

I achieve orgasm relatively easily, and I can pretty much control how quickly or slowly it happens. I don't normally have trouble getting to orgasm, but every once in a while I do have trouble keeping my erection. If this happens I rarely achieve orgasm, no matter how hard I try or how long I masturbate. I've been masturbating for about 8 years now. l've noticed that it generally does take me longer to achieve orgasm now. This doesn't bother me, because it makes it more enjoyable when I'm with a girl.
- age 19, Illinois

With age it has become more difficult — or at least lengthy. As a young man I could ejaculate within two minutes. Today it takes some 20 minutes, and sometimes I have trouble getting there. Still, even without orgasm, it's great. Much depends also on the amount and kind of stimulation. When my wife displays herself nicely and holds my testicles while I masturbate between her legs, it is much easier to reach orgasm than when I'm all alone. In that case I often must resort to pictures or videos.
- age 72, Spain

I had trouble "getting there" just yesterday. I felt a little bad, knowing I had put out all that effort and got no results. Anyway, I tried again today, and *WOW* ... do I feel better!
- age 17, Oregon

The only time I can remember having trouble achieving orgasm was in college, when I had a hard time getting the necessary privacy. But when I did, I had mind-blowing orgasms. Other than that, I have never had a problem. It might be because I usually plan ahead. I don't masturbate at the drop of a hat; I think about it for a while and look forward to it. Usually I have an erection long before I actually begin. Probably my biggest problem is holding back my orgasm so I will enjoy it more. Sometimes I stop, get dressed again, go do something, and then come back to it. That way I can make it last. I masturbate at least once a day, usually twice, and have done so since I was about 11. I never had difficulty back then, either. I remember my early orgasms with great fondness.
- age 52, West Virginia

How long I take usually depends on how aroused I am at the time. Often I can just play with my penis, it feels good, I get relaxed — no ejaculation, no mess, no problem. Other times, no matter how hard I try, I get maybe 3 strokes in and ejaculate. Then of course, there are times when I masturbate for a good hour, trying everything under the sun — techniques, straight porn, even gay porn, and nothing happens. I end up with nothing but a sore penis. Usually this happens only when I have been masturbating more than once a day for much of the week. But sometimes I can't explain it.
- age 16, New Jersey

I have always been very sexually oriented, but unfortunately, I married an incest victim. I have now paid for her father's crimes for 38 years, and I am fed up. No amount of love can replace that original trauma. I masturbate regularly, but it has diminished over the years. Recently I had testosterone replacement therapy, and it has rekindled my interest in sex. However, my wife is still the same. She has recently started testosterone therapy to improve her libido, but I don't hold out much hope for a successful result. (However, hope springs eternal.)
- age 57, Australia

I've always taken a long time to get to orgasm. I masturbate every day, but even if I don't, it still takes me half an hour or so to climax. It's not really a problem until it makes me late for work and I'm still very horny. The more I think about needing to hurry up, the longer it takes. Usually popping an adult video in the VCR helps. If I'm masturbating with a friend for the first time, it can be annoying, especially if he's speedy. If he's mutually masturbating me, sometime I have to take back my penis and finish it off myself. But, when we get more familiar, things can speed up.
- age 26, Virginia

As I've gotten older, I've found it sometimes takes me much longer to reach orgasm than it used to. However, there have always been times when I had more trouble reaching orgasm than others. And, there are still times when I get to orgasm very quickly. It depends on how aroused I am, how long it's been since I had my last orgasm, whether I'm under some kind of pressure, etc. Those times when I need to reach orgasm quickly (for whatever reason) are often the times I have the most trouble doing so. And I've found that oddly enough, it takes me longer to reach orgasm with another person than it does when I'm masturbating alone.
- age 44, Tennessee

It's always very easy for me. The only times I have trouble getting there are mostly the first time of every new date. I think I'm a bit shy. It has not changed over the years. After being with someone several times, it's like when I masturbate: it's easy!
- age 33, Netherlands

With a guy it's difficult, because guys often don't know where to touch me. But when I masturbate myself, I can achieve orgasm in about 4 minutes.
- age 19, Ohio (female)

Compared to when I was in my 20s, masturbation has definitely changed. Whether single or not, I found it much easier to reach orgasm then. It seems easier for me to get an erection now, and my orgasms are the most intense ever. It just seems to take more effort to get to the point of no return compared to my early 20s. Having great control and stamina is amazing when I'm sharing the sack — but when I'm just pleasing me, sooner isn't such a bad thing.
- age 31, Ohio

I can still reach orgasm in 60 seconds. When I was 12 or 13 I could reach orgasm in the same time, but I could do it more often. At 63, once a day is about it. Once a month or so, I get into a mood where I can do it two or three times in one day.
- age 63, Missouri

I only have trouble achieving orgasm when standing up (such as in the shower stall). Apart from that, everything still works fine. I do have more control now; I can have much longer sessions.
- age 18, Netherlands

I have not experienced any significant decrease in my speed to orgasm over the last 45 years or so that I have pursued it. Sometimes I can attain it very quickly, while other times it takes longer — depending on how long it has been since I masturbated, how strong the stimulus is, etc. Of course, the whole point is not necessarily to race to a climax. A month ago, I first tried a device designed to stimulate my prostate, but the result did not seem special. Three days later, though, I discovered I had become multi-orgasmic, being able to achieve intense, prolonged, and repeated orgasms without ejaculation. Now I can stroke my scrotum and attain a powerful, almost convulsive, orgasm reliably in less than a minute, as many times a day as I want to. Once started, the wave of orgasms continues indefinitely, during which I can produce a mind-blowing experience by rigorously masturbating if I wish to trigger ejaculation.
- age 57, Oregon

My ability has become refined over the years. Instead of a quick one that would usually leave me spent for a while, I've learned to prolong the pleasure for over an hour in some cases. The odd part is that I've been able to recover and have subsequent erections more quickly than in my youth. I've learned how to enhance and enjoy sex more both with my wife and on my own. I focus on the moment and don't rush to orgasm. My ability to reach orgasm has definitely changed — for the better.
- age 39, Pennsylvania

Getting to orgasm takes me a bit longer and sometimes my arm gets tired, but when I'm really in the mood, it doesn't take that much longer. I find that I'm not in the mood as much as I once was. Sometimes I masturbate at bedtime to relax for sleep (a lifetime thing). And sometimes now, I really have to work at it. My wife doesn't mind if I masturbate for this reason; I have done it all our married life. She masturbates for the same reason as well. Masturbation works better than sleeping pills. All this on top of a highly successful and very good sex life! The basic answer is that I have never had any trouble achieving orgasm, and I still don't.
- age 67, Canada

After having radical prostatectomy, I find that even after pleasurable stimulation, sometimes I cannot achieve orgasm easily. It takes several ensuing, discrete sessions of stimulation. Sometimes I can't get there at all, even though I want it very much. When orgasm is not attainable, the physical yearning and level of tumescence seems to subside quickly and entirely. When this happens, a measure of partial satisfaction often occurs. So orgasm, and the perceived need *and* capacity for it, would seem absolutely to be driven by something other than expulsion of semen. Orgasm must perform an important brain function in addition to all else it does. Interestingly, those orgasms I can achieve also vary in quality and intensity.
- age 64, Pennsylvania

I can usually achieve ejaculation as quickly as I need or want to. Occasionally I have difficulty with it, especially if I'm extremely tired, and it may take me quite a while, no matter how furiously I'm pounding away. I don't think it's a matter of age — quick multiple ejaculations in a row are certainly less frequent now — but the nice thing about getting older is that you learn to savor the trip, extending it on purpose. I prefer to take my time, revel in every sensation, and make it last as long as possible. I once had an extreme prostate infection that blocked me up so completely I couldn't ejaculate at all. After a few weeks of frustration, extreme horniness, and excruciating pain, a urologist cleared the blockage. He prescribed frequent ejaculations, which he said would prevent future infections — a prescription I have absolutely no problem living with! (I hope the rest of the guys here take a lesson from this.)
- age 48, Nevada

I'm sometimes confused by the images of guys achieving orgasm in movies because they happen so quickly and differently than mine. My orgasms come after long, pleasurable sessions of rubbing my hand up and down my penis. Over the last four years, I've noticed my orgasms are more intense because of my increased stamina, but I haven't had any trouble achieving them.
- age 14, Washington

It has become much more difficult for me to reach orgasm since my doctor prescribed Zocor to keep my cholesterol under control. One of the side effects of the drug is a possible lessening of sexual desire. They got that one right! Getting an erection has become hard work, and once I have one, I have to stroke straight on through to orgasm. If I'm interrupted for the slightest reason, I can lose my erection and won't get it back easily, if at all, until another time.
- age 67, Vermont

Orgasms used to be easy for me. But over the years (I have been masturbating since I was 13), I have to go a little faster, and I have to apply a little more pressure to my clitoris.
- age 15, California (female)

With my former wife, I occasionally faked orgasm, because she was so unpleasant to be with. I'd want to be done as soon as possible. But I seldom have a problem while masturbating. Occasionally I'll start really late at night and just be too tired to continue to orgasm. But generally speaking, I'd vouch for the truth of the saying that "the thing every man knows best about himself is how to masturbate."
- age 35, Florida

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