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JackinQ&A

GENERAL QUESTIONS page 2

When I was 13 or so, I used to be able to ejaculate 5 times a night, but now I can't get off more than once. Is there an explanation for this?
- age 15, Mississippi

If you look at the JackinWorld Survey #1, you'll see that 13-year-olds masturbate more often than 15-year-olds. Your body simply takes longer than the average 15-year-old to "recharge its batteries" before you can ejaculate again. But rest assured there are many, many boys your age who are satisfied with no more than one ejaculation per day.

What is the most you've ever heard that a person masturbated in one day? My record is 9. Is that a lot or a little compared to other people?
- age 15, Pennsylvania

It's getting up there. One person wrote and claimed to have masturbated 30 times that day, but I have no idea if he was telling the truth. I, myself, have never done it more than four times in one day.

What is the average amount of time someone masturbates for?
- age 19, Texas

That varies greatly. Some JackinWorld readers claim to be able to ejaculate in 15 seconds if need be, and if you kept stopping and resting at the right moments, you could theoretically masturbate forever. (Or at least until you pass out from exhaustion — something some teenage guys may be familiar with!) But for a kid who goes into the bathroom to ejaculate quickly, the average time would probably be a couple of minutes; the leisurely, in-your-bed-alone masturbation session probably takes an average of five or ten minutes for teenagers, and 15 or 20 minutes (or more) for adults.

Sometimes when I masturbate, it takes almost 15 minutes for me to ejaculate. I masturbate only about five times a week. Does this mean I should do it more often?
- age 17, Canada

If anything, masturbating more often will mean it will take longer for you to ejaculate — although you can practice with different methods to see which ones bring you to orgasm the quickest.

I have masturbated for seven months now, and I'm into tons of sports and have a girlfriend. I'm sort of addicted to masturbating, but I want to stop. It was fun in the beginning, but now it just seems like something I would do when I was younger. How can I stop?
- age 15, Wisconsin

That's really a tall order, as anyone who's tried can tell you! The need to periodically release semen is so strong, especially in a male your age, that the urge to masturbate is nearly unavoidable. Even if you are able to not do it for a while (like a week), your body may respond by releasing it at night in a nocturnal emission (or "wet dream"). It might help you to know, though, that most males masturbate regularly for their whole lives — not just when they're kids. If you really want to stop, though, all I can say is good luck!

I want to stop masturbating, but it feels so good — it's REALLY addicting. But for some reason the thought of it is starting to make me sick for some reason. Do you have any suggestions?

Not really. According to our readers, almost all attempts to "quit" fail. Here's hoping you can learn to really enjoy this safe practice that you're "addicted" to.

I'm wondering, is it okay NOT to masturbate? I've heard from people that you can have sort of a problem if you don't — something called "blue balls."

Sure, it's okay not to masturbate, if you're able to. "Blue balls" is a common term for a rather uncomfortable congestion of the blood in the scrotum when you're sexually aroused for a while and don't ejaculate. The condition, while not very pleasant, is harmless and goes away in a few hours. However, anytime you have "blue balls," you're likely to be so aroused that resisting masturbation in difficult.

If you go for long periods without masturbating, your body releases semen in nocturnal emissions, or "wet-dreams." (These have been covered in several places throughout JackinWorld; see JackinIndex.) No harm will come from not masturbating, just as no harm will come from masturbating; either way is fine with your body.

How many days can a guy go without masturbating?

After about a week or two of not masturbating, most guys release their semen in a nocturnal emission. Theoretically, you could go forever without masturbating. In fact, some people — very few, mind you — actually do.

I really want to masturbate. All of my friends are doing it. But there is a problem: I am a Roman Catholic, and my religion considers it a sin. I want to do it one time — where should I do it, and how can I make it the most pleasurable?
- age 11, Illinois

I will not try to give you religious guidance, but I would bet money that there are plenty of Roman Catholic priests (as well as other religious leaders) who masturbate regularly, despite the Church's teachings. I would advise, though, to pick a place and time where you'll have maximum privacy and plenty of time to enjoy the experience and to explore your feelings. (But something tells me it won't be the last time!)

For more on the topic of religion and masturbation, check JackinLinks.

When I masturbate I feel relaxed, and it feels good — but after I'm done, I feel I did something wrong. Why?
- age 16, Wisconsin

Guilt is a very common, but very unfortunate, side-effect of masturbation. Depending on how you were raised, your religious background, etc., it can be almost enough to stop you from masturbating altogether. But you have to absolutely trust the idea that there's nothing wrong with it, that it's perfectly healthy and normal, that just about everyone does it, and that it's good practice for your later sex life.

I have just started to discover masturbation. I can give myself an erection in the shower, and sometimes I masturbate in bed. But I never ejaculate or orgasm. Is this okay? I want to ejaculate, and I want to feel what other guys feel.
- age 13, Washington, DC

Keep at it — it will happen soon enough. You may still be too young to ejaculate, but you can probably give yourself an orgasm nonetheless. Be sure you're concentrating on what you're doing and aren't distracted. Fantasize about something really sexy, and try lubrication if you aren't using it already. Don't give up after a minute or two — it might take several minutes to build up enough of the good feelings in your body to reach orgasm.

I'm 17 and I've just discovered the art of masturbation, believe it or not. I masturbate for about 15 minutes, and nothing happens; I remain erect, but I can't ejaculate. Eventually I get tired of it and quit. I've had many "wet-dreams," but I can't masturbate to the point of an orgasm. Why is this?

I'd say you're giving up too soon, and not getting into it enough. Masturbation isn't like scratching an itch or rubbing a sore muscle — it's about building up pleasure. I recommend totally concentrating on your pleasure and your fantasies, staying with your feelings rather than dropping them, and I also recommend using lubrication. Try to get it to build up, and then keep going until you can let it go.

I'm a 14-year-old male and have been masturbating for about 2 years. I've had about 10 wet dreams, but I've never ejaculated while masturbating. Usually when I masturbate I go at it for 10 or 20 minutes, and either nothing happens or I have to urinate. Am I doing something wrong?

I don't know. There seems to be a small percentage of males who have serious problems masturbating to orgasm. This isn't a serious problem in itself, but it suggests you might have problems with completing intercourse later on, and we suggest you continue to work at it through masturbation. If you haven't seen them, be sure to read (and re-read) the JackinHow-To section titled "But I Can't Ejaculate" as well as the article titled "Mental Masturbation" in JackinLibrary.

I have been masturbating for a year and a half and love it, but when I get close to climaxing, I cannot do it — I chicken out and stop. I cannot handle the feeling, so I stop, and I never do ejaculate. It's really becoming a problem. What can I do?
- age 16, Illinois

This is something you're going to have to get over if you want to enjoy masturbation (and intercourse, for that matter) to the fullest. If it's possible, just go for it one day. I have a feeling that once you get used to the feeling of orgasm after a couple of times, you'll never stop short again!

Since I read your page several nights ago, I've tried to masturbate, but I can't get an orgasm. I've tried many of the techniques on JackinWorld, but I just can't do it. What should I try?
- age 11, Arizona

At your age, your body is probably just not ready for it. Part of puberty is the development of all the muscles that go into having an orgasm, as well as the "wiring" of the brain that allows you to have one — and if they haven't developed yet, you may not be able to reach the point of orgasm. Don't worry, though — within a year or two you'll probably have your first orgasm. Keep trying!

If I masturbate too much, will I lose my ability to produce sperm?
- age 15, Louisiana

No. Masturbation will not affect your sperm count. This is a common masturbation myth.

I'm only 12 and I don't ejaculate when I masturbate yet. I masturbate quite often, though — about once a day. By masturbating a lot before I can come, is this delaying the process of me reaching sexual maturity?
- age 12, Louisiana

No. Masturbation will not have any negative effects on your physical development. This is a common masturbation myth.

I heard that masturbating a lot can make your penis shrink. Is this true? I do it about once every night and am about 5 3/4". Is this smaller than normal for my age, and if it is, could it be from masturbating usually only once a day?
- age 16, Indiana

Masturbation will not make your penis smaller; that's locker-room nonsense spread by guys who probably feel guilty that they masturbate, want to make others feel more guilty about it, and want to make it seem like they never masturbate because they get to have intercourse all the time. (Yeah, right!) By the way, your penis is of a perfectly normal size for your age, or for an adult for that matter.

Is it true that you can get rid of the flu more quickly by masturbating?
- age 15, United Kingdom

I've never heard of such a thing. It sounds like a myth.

I masturbate about twice a day, maybe more, and I have heard that somehow it can affect your eyesight. Is that true, or is it a rumor I should ignore?
- age 14, Illinois

I already answered that question — what's the matter, didn't you see it? Just kidding! This is one of the many very untrue myths about masturbating. The other two common ones are that it will cause insanity or make your palms hairy. (Seen any hairy palms lately?)

A friend of mine told me that if I masturbate more than once a day (which I sometimes do) someday I'll be a rapist. That isn't true, is it?
- age 17, California

Of course not! If it were, half the men in the world would be rapists, if not more. That's just another myth that makes kids unnecessarily frightened of masturbation.

I was told recently that if you masturbate frequently, as I do (a good 3 or 4 times a day), that you will lower your tolerance to sex — that after you reach orgasm you will no longer want to have sex. I am worried that I will not be able to satisfy my partner fully, due to their insatiable urge for more. Is there any way to ensure masturbating will not create a "one-time shot for the night or every-couple-hours syndrome"?
- age 21, South Carolina

Whether you masturbate or not, having an orgasm will tend to make you less interested in sex. That's just how the body works. The trick is to try to satisfy your partner before you have your orgasm — that way, when you're done, you'll both be satisfied. Sorry, but the topic of how to satisfy women is beyond the scope of this site.

Does masturbation cause acne?
- age 13, Washington, D.C.

No — this is another masturbation myth. Hormones cause acne, and hormones cause the urge to masturbate, but masturbation doesn't cause acne.

For more information, see this other question (from a reader who's convinced masturbation causes acne).

I'm 18. I've been masturbating regularly since I was 12 or 13 — I'd say I perform "the ritual" about once a day — and have never noticed any problems until recently. For the past few months whenever I engage in any kind of pre-sexual activity with a female (sometimes something as simple as kissing), I involuntarily ejaculate. Even more odd is the fact that 90% of the time I'm not erect at all. I'm aware that premature ejaculation supposedly disappears with age, but would masturbating more or less frequently help to stop it?

You have an extreme case of premature ejaculation, and for that there isn't much I can recommend, except to try masturbating before you're expecting to have an encounter. In such extreme cases some kind of sexual counseling or even medical assistance may be necessary. The condition will probably improve with age, but it could take years. In the mean time I would just try to go really, really slowly, and find a girl who understands what you're going through and is willing to help.

For those of you who have the simpler, more common problem of just getting to orgasm too quickly once intercourse has begun, here's something to try: When you masturbate, pay close attention to your pelvic feelings. By now you probably have a good sense of when you're getting close to orgasm, so when you feel that happening, back off a little — both physically (slow down) and mentally (cool your fantasy jets a little). You don't have to throw ice water on yourself and think of old nuns — just back off a little so you're almost there but not quite, and continue. I like to call this "working the throttle." When you have sex, you can do the same kinds of things to delay your ejaculation.

A bonus of "working the throttle" is it causes an increase in seminal-fluid secretion, so when you do ejaculate there will be more semen — and the orgasm will be more powerful.

Are there any exercises I can do to get myself to last longer? I ejaculate just by kissing and touching a girl.
- age 15, Illinois

You apparently have a severe case of "premature ejaculation." Experience will help cure your problem — but for now, you might consider masturbating (more than once if necessary) shortly before you know you'll be with a girl. This may slow down your "quick trigger" to the point where it's more manageable.

What's the best way to get privacy for masturbating?
- age 15, California

The bathroom is a favorite place — preferably one that's a little out of the way, so you can do your masturbating undisturbed and relatively stress-free.

Do black people masturbate?

Sure they do — as much as anyone. Skin color makes no difference in this regard.

 
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